Linggo, Nobyembre 10, 2013

Baldy

       Going bald isn't something I ever dreamed of... but alas, one day while seating in a barber shop, I had just decided to go bald. It was quite a sudden decision that I myself was flustered for a while. They frequently say that you can always grow it back. In my circumstance, it was a case of a 'no turning back' thing. So as the razor progressed and my hair cut shorter and shorter. I saw myself in the mirror taking on a very drastic change. It's my first time to do it so it's a bit unnerving. Not that I'm on the offense with baldness or maybe I am. It's my future. If you guessed that I'm at the early stage of baldness then you guessed right. I've inherited it from my father. The dreaded genes that nobody wants. I would rather fancy genes that are responsible for good skin or even dimples. But lo and behold, I was blessed with that of the baldy one. Growing up I had already been introduced to the idea that someday I myself would get bald and I can't do anything about it. I've seen it from my father and majority of his relatives during a well attended reunion. So through the years I have tried to condition myself for my impending doom. Not that hair is that important to me. But hair does help in the looks department. It can help you look young and fresh. Whereas baldness really depicts that you are on the roads of being ancient. And it doesn't help in any plans of prospecting.
       I've always considered going bald but haven't had the chance to do so until now.  I was a bit hesitant because of the bald spot and the unruly, mess of a hair.  It's a drastic change. And of course, there is the fear that it might not suit me and then there is nothing I can do about it after. It's risky. And the fact that since I'm at the early stages of balding, it won't look great whilst I decide to grow it back. So I thought that once I  decide upon it, there is no turning back for me. I have to be committed to the fact that I'm now and forever more bald. Strange, but that was all brewing at the back of my mind. I was thinking of all the things that might go wrong after this tragic change. Never have I expected that it will garner such mixed reactions from my peers, family and friends.
       My mom hates it. Told me what was I thinking that I went bald. That I look more like a gangster and that it made me look older. Some liked it a lot. Thought that it suited me well. That I should consider keeping it that way. My contractor asked me if  I'm going through a rough time and if I did it because of depression. A friend thought I did it to try to fit in and in a way updating my look to jive in with the present trend. It's not at all like that. I blame everything on genetics and heredity. Why, oh why did I inherit such a gene?
       When I decided to go bald I have my valid reasons for doing so just not the courage to live them. It's crazy and maybe a spur of the moment kind of thing. But bottom line is that I've already considered it and that I maybe subconsciously pushing myself to get it done finally. If I haven't so decided abruptly, I would've chickened out and had myself denied of having leaped into the unknown. I could have been left wondering how better off I am as a baldy. Hahahaha....
       We all have reasons for doing whatever it is we do. Mine are as simple and clear as daylight. Eventually in my life I would be bald. Sooner or later I would be dubbed as 'kalbo' by my peers. So in my mind, why not head it off since I'm already halfway there. Maybe being bald now would acclimatize myself into the acceptance that I will and forever more be bald. It would be easier to shift into that way of life if I get used to it as early as now. There would therefore be a smooth and peaceful transition on my part. It has given me the illusion that going bald is indeed a choice rather than a burden dealt me by an upper hand. It's like getting used to the idea of being bald therefore lessening the fear of it finally happening. Now after the experience of going bald have been there. I'm no longer so averse with the idea. Now I can totally accept that it's my fate and I should  learn to live with it. I know it's a bit melodramatic for such a not so trivial thing. But I need this to somehow be able to come to terms with reality and not be bitter and depressed that other people can get to enjoy having a full head of hair and not me. To be able to get different styles done onto it that would define their mood and sense of being. But alas like what I said before looks and appearances can only get you thus far. Its what's inside of you that would really define the kind of person you are. And mind you, I'm not talking bout your innards. Alas! I'm not that great of a person so I need the hair badly. Kudos....